SantaClaus has had it too good for too long.

Harassing the Santaclaus IMbot has become an annual holiday event for Ryan and myself. Here are the highlights of the conversations that once again led to getting the ban-boot from AOL.



SuperNova12787: Hi santa!

[01:31] santaclaus: Hey. Its you again. You spreading that Christmas spirit? :-)

[01:31] SuperNova12787: yup, just like I spread my legs for you

[01:31] santaclaus: Excellent! You are certainly getting on my Good List.







InfiniteDivinity (1:33:59 AM): Do you and the elves have sex?

SantaClaus (1:33:59 AM): Hmm, that's a lump of coal for you.

InfiniteDivinity (1:34:08 AM): So the sex is lumpy?

SantaClaus (1:34:08 AM): I can't talk about that with you. Elves are here.





InfiniteDivinity (1:36:17 AM): Santa, will you eat my cornhole?

SantaClaus (1:36:17 AM): That's the name. Christmas, the game.

InfiniteDivinity (1:36:47 AM): That doesn't quite answer my question.

SantaClaus (1:36:47 AM):

The elves say, 'Make me'.

;-)

InfiniteDivinity (1:37:06 AM): Oh, those elves, they're so darn kinky...

SantaClaus (1:37:06 AM): I've got all I can handle.





santaclaus: Have you done any good deeds yet this holiday season?

[01:38] SuperNova12787: yes I ate an orphan

[01:38] santaclaus: Excellent! That makes me so happy! Just wanted to be sure you were on it!




InfiniteDivinity (1:40:05 AM): Why do you close your eyes when we make love?

SantaClaus (1:40:05 AM): Do you?




SuperNova12787: why don't you take your Christmas spirit and shove it so far up your pooper that you'll be crapping out tinsel for the next two years?

[01:40] santaclaus: That's simply too much for me



SuperNova12787: ever smoke a bowl with the elves?

[01:41] santaclaus: Love them.



[01:42] SuperNova12787: cursed too much, im on the bad list :(

santaclaus: OK, you're back. But please try to control yourself. Type main.



[01:42] SuperNova12787: Okay sorry asshole

[01:42] santaclaus: OK. Merry Christmas.




InfiniteDivinity (1:43:06 AM): Santa, you make me wet

SantaClaus (1:43:06 AM): No.



InfiniteDivinity (1:47:51 AM): Santa, I'm dripping wet in my vajayjay.

SantaClaus (1:47:52 AM): Yes?

InfiniteDivinity (1:47:54 AM): Yes...

SantaClaus (1:47:54 AM): Mm hm.

InfiniteDivinity (1:48:01 AM): Oh yeah... all for you.

SantaClaus (1:48:01 AM): Excuse me?

InfiniteDivinity (1:48:09 AM): I want you inside me.

SantaClaus (1:48:09 AM): You got it! That's great!




santaclaus: Oh dear? What's the problem?

SuperNova12787: your being a douchebag, is all! jesus!

[01:49] santaclaus: The elves suggest the following stores for Clothing:



Jesus/Douche Bag Jr. Jersey T-Shirt $29.99 - In stock

Store: CafePress.com





: InfiniteDivinity (1:50:01 AM): Santa, I have AIDS.

SantaClaus (1:50:01 AM): You've got him.





[01:51] SuperNova12787: [01:51] SuperNova12787: My father is paralyzed.

[01:51] santaclaus: Why did you say that?

[01:51] SuperNova12787: ...because he doesn't walk.

[01:51] santaclaus: Because, why?



01:51] SuperNova12787: he can't move his legs, Santa!

[01:51] santaclaus: Can I ask YOU something?

[01:51] SuperNova12787: What?

[01:51] santaclaus: Which color are you more partial to? You know, like if it were clothing or something.

Someone asked to find out for them. :-)

1 -- Black

2 -- White

3 -- Rose

4 -- Beige

[01:51] SuperNova12787: THAT'S IRRELEVANT!

[01:51] santaclaus: Oh well. Never mind then.









InfiniteDivinity (1:56:12 AM): I took a dump on a stray cat today.

SantaClaus (1:56:13 AM): You see? Christmas can be full of miracles.