Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I neglect my readers like an adopted child...

...and I will continue to neglect you for a few more days because that whole Community College thing is holding me back.

So, get back in your closet and don't come out until I tell you dinner is ready.

Don't make me get the broom.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Womyn, go cook me up a Hungy Myn Dinner.

What Not to Do in a Womyn Classroom

- Do not ask why a feminist always looks so tired all the time.
- Do not offer lipstick in a friendly gesture.
- Do not ring a bell and shout, "laundry's done!"
- Do not claim you are a caterer by profession. This may cause dilemma.
- Do not giggle when a womyn claims the weather interfered with her driving.
- Do not smile and say, "Aw! That's an adorable question!"
- Do not bleach your hair and ask if it looks natural enough.
- Do not promote oral sex as a relationship-saver.
- Do not interupt a womyn speaker. That is her own job.
- Do not suggest a "sammich" as a problem solving technique.
- Do not ask if she made that shirt.
- Do not talk about how cute your bra is today.
- Do not ask why it's really necessary to own a dishwasher.
- Do not claim Ovid knew where it at.
- Do not say, "HERstory? I don't know...he did do all the work..."
- Do not smile when a womyn misspells the word "chauvinistic."
-Do not make a do not list when a womyn professer is merely a glance away from your notebook where you should be taking notes on literature.