Thursday, July 2, 2009


I was ringing customers at my monotonous cliche of a front end retail job when a couple walked up to the register doing that "couple" thing - hands in each other's back pockets, smiling - the whole PG 13 romantic comedy. I say hello and I get a cheerful "how are you" back.

Then the girl puts a pregnancy test on the counter.

I double take and think about this for a moment. Everytime I ring someone up for one of these it's a depressing atmosphere. It will be the angry boyfriend, the crying girlfriend, the hungover sleazy looking girl, etc. You name it, it's a bad scene. I could not understand how these two could be so happy right now. I'm pretty sure I had a raised eyebrow the entire time I rang them up.

About fifteen minutes later, it hits me.

I forget that some people actually like having babies. Not every baby is an accident or mistake. Not every couple is forced into marriage by the arrival of a little genetic mutant they call "son" or "daughter."

Personally, I beg to differ. I think children are little hellspawns. Little black, cancerous spots on this sphere we call a planet. Children make me feel like a retail Sisyphus - they knock over everything, I put it back, and they knock it over again. It's neverending.

But humans are meant to procreate and I guess it is nice to see a couple that enjoys what they're nature tells them to. Just caught me offguard. I could end this on nice note, but I'm debating it...let's see if I can resist the temptation of a PS.


PS - Abortions.

1 comment:

PK said...

"there's a baby on the table, THAT'S LUCKY!!"