Thursday, October 25, 2007

Dental Chairs and Doom: An Adventure

As many of you already know, I have spent the past week in a vicodin-blessed euphoric state thanks to getting my four wisdom teeth pulled. Everything healed nicely and I could tell that the stitches in my mouth were no longer necessary. Today I thought that I would be returning to the same surgeon who stitched me up. But I did not.

I'm not really one to get too squeamish about dental offices. My mother has been a dental office manager all over the tri-state area since I was a wee one, so I'm quite used to the sights and sounds. Today was the first day to put me at such unease that I secretly took photos while waiting for my dentist to finally come in and remove the stitches.

At first it wasn't so bad. I got this neat little Dr. Seuss bib that entertained me for about four minutes.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Once I got bored of staring at the same cloth, I began to take notice to other things around the office. First thing I did not like - this picture on the wall.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Usually these kinds of posters do not bother me. The problem with this one is that it does not show any nice teeth. Look for some, I dare ya. All those mouths are fucked up! That does not put me in a very good mood. I would like to see some positive reinforcement in a dental office.

I stare at the gory poster for a few minutes and try to get my mind elsewhere. I notice these furry stuffed animals in the corner.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

A ghetto Barney and something else green behind it. Okay, not so bad.


What is that green thing?

I actually got up to take a better look.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

My reaction:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I sat like that for twenty minutes staring at that fucking thing. What cruel horrible place is this?

I've seen it before...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Yes. I was in the hidden dental office stage of Doom. But I didn't have the BFG. All I had was a Dr. Seuss bib.

I have no ending for this, so I take a small bow. Thanks, Carlin.

(Before anyone starts wondering about the green stuffed animal, I'll be 100 percent honest at the end here. It was just a hilarious angle. the stuffed animal is actually a really cute alligator with fake teeth in it to teach kids how to brush. What you're looking at is the mouth and its black nostrils. The mouth potrudes out and what you cant see are the plush eyes, so it looks like this horrid, disfigured creature. Honestly, when I first saw it, I almost crapped my pants and that's when I took the picture. When I went in to further look at it, I saw it was just really fine angling. So, hope I gave ya a laugh and a freak out anyway hehe)

No comments: