Tuesday, December 19, 2006

SantaClaus Pwnage.

It's becoming an annual celebration for me and Ryan to harass the shit out of the SantaClaus IMbot. For those who dont know what it is, it's an automated Instant Messenger name of Santa where kids can IM santa and tell him what they want, blah blah blah. Well, it's fun to make it say inappropriate things.

Vedder4prez7 is my other screenname..evidently, Im still blocked from last year LOL

Warning: the follow is pretty explicit. merry fuckin christmas!

InfiniteDivinity (11:26:53 PM): Santa, please insert your candy cane into my chocolate roll.
SantaClaus (11:26:53 PM): Chocolates make great last minute gifts.

InfiniteDivinity (11:33:21 PM): I want to break you off real deep Santa.
SantaClaus (11:33:21 PM): I've noted it. Anything else?

Vedder4Prez7: ass

SantaClaus: Oh dear. I just get so depressed when I hear that kind of talk. The English language used to be one of my favorites.
A lump of coal for you.
Vedder4Prez7: sorry shithead
SantaClaus: It's O.K. I'll give you another chance.

Vedder4Prez7: santa. eat my hole.

SantaClaus: Talk to me.

InfiniteDivinity (11:38:41 PM): I want to rape you really hard and make you feel real pain.
SantaClaus (11:38:41 PM): Oh my! I might be able to help out there.

InfiniteDivinity (11:40:35 PM): I WANT YOU IN MY BED.
SantaClaus (11:40:35 PM): You keep doing the same thing. Over and over. I get it already. I see everything, you know It's possible that's all I'm gonna say on the subject.

Vedder4Prez7: santa. make me a woman.

SantaClaus: Hey -- Don't make me I'll come over there. . Its a joke. I am coming on Christmas eve.

Vedder4Prez7: do you like it up the butt?

SantaClaus: What do you think?

Vedder4Prez7: yes.

SantaClaus: Mm hm.

InfiniteDivinity (11:42:09 PM): I'm here for you Santa, whenever you want me. I'm dressed very sexily, with a ribbon on my "candy cane."
SantaClaus (11:42:09 PM): Hey, I've got a billion children to keep track of.

Vedder4Prez7: i heard you are banging Mrs. Claus' hot sister Linda. is that true?

SantaClaus: Do you think so?

Vedder4Prez7: yeah

SantaClaus: Without a doubt?

Vedder4Prez7: yup

SantaClaus: Yes!!

Vedder4Prez7: GOOD FOR YOU!

SantaClaus: Ho, ho then.

Vedder4Prez7: im jewish

SantaClaus: Cool. OK, let's see if you can complete this Hanukka quiz:

What comes next in this holiday-oriented sequence? nun, gimel, heh ??

Vedder4Prez7: tooshka

SantaClaus: Its Shin! Remember -- a dreidel has for sides -- on four each word in the phrase "nes gadol haya sham" (a great miracle happened there).

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