Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Come back to me, childhood horrors.

When I was about eight or nine years old, I remember going to an arcade and finding an arcade game that looked appealing. I put a quarter in and started to play. I picked a character who had a chainsaw and a mohawk.

I was eight, so needless to say I couldn't play for shit. The game opened and my character is immediately attacked by this big samurai. He uses his machete to hack me up into little bloody pieces. First, I lose my arm and continue to play. Then, he chopped off my fucking head.

I played for about five minutes and as an eight year old, all I can think is "OHMIGOD PARENTS AREN'T SEEING ME PLAY THIS IM AWESOME!" I couldn't have been happier.

That night, I stayed awake with all the lights and the TV on. and the next night. I just waited for that samurai to come in and cut my limbs off. Never had I been so traumatized by a video game in my life. What's funny is I played Mortal Kombat all the time and it didn't bother me as much as this did.

Years later I'm trying to tell people about the video game (I could never remember the name) and they look at me like I'm in dire need of a padded helmet. I swore and swore that it existed.

So, to all the nonbelievers, let me present to you Time Killers, the video game that resulted in no sleep for 48 hours.

You may watch it and think "man, Mortal Kombat was worse than this." Well, this video actually shows the part that fucked me up. Go to 2:28 in the video and you'll see decapitated heads on stakes all around and Rancid (my punk chainsaw guy I tried to explain) as he gets cut into little twitching pieces.

Thank Youtube for the random strange things I try to explain sometimes. Youtube has become my own personal little powerpoint of life.


Alicia said...

See also: things that shaped my mind into what it is today.

bill said...

i love the characters names
Punk is Rancid (the band)
Musashi, legendary japanese samurai
and Leif, like Leif Erickson...
wait, what?

Dom C. said...

I love tha line!!! "Youtube has become my own personal little powerpoint of life."

That is classic!