Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Dantel - He'll never be classic. ever.

Sometimes boredom leads to random adventures on Youtube (as you've seen in the previous blog) and somehow I came across a gameplay video of one of the funniest digitized fighter games I've ever seen.

It's called Survival Arts. I've never heard of it before this video. Let me say that I love the fact this kid actually slows done the cheesy fatality as a replay lol.

I watched a full gameplay video of it and it's obviously just a Mortal Kombat ripoff. There are funny moments here and there, but nothing really worthy of talking about.

Except the final boss. I want you to prepare yourself. There are bad video game moments and then there are destruction of a video game console moments. This one is leaning very close to the latter....

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This is Dantel. He is your final boss in Survival Arts. Where did they find this actor? Was he waiting outside a Van Halen show kicking people in a drunken haze when they found their inspiration?

Who the hell wants to fight a guy named Dantel who looks like he just came home from a Dio concert? Wait until you see his cheap Halloween store costume:

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WHere did he get that? It looks like he was trying out for Motley Crue or some shit.

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wait. I'm gonna post this picture again because I just realized how funny that screenshot was:

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He breathes fire. What a fuckin lameass. He doesn't know martial arts or any kind of art. He breathes fire. I want Sub Zero from Mortal Kombat to come over here and kick him in the nuts.

This is probably my favorite part. After you beat him, he doesn't explode violently or gush blood or even die for that matter.

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Hitler and Mussolini heads fly out of his body. This is the best metaphor for evil they can come up with? Hitler heads? I don't know whether to laugh or cry in embarassment for the creators of this game...

Since I'm running out of time and need to go attend to other things besides strange youtube videos, I'm going to leave on this note:

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Next time I have the chance, I'm going to look up Sam and see what he's done with himself since this game.

Rock on, Dantel. Rock on.


Alicia said...

He gets like, 15 hits on google for Sam Rodetsky as the infamous "Hose Brand Dantel"... Hose brand? What the fuck is that?

Party on, Wayne.

Bill said...

Party on, Garth